Christmas Traditions

I love traditions. Traditions of any kind, really, but especially Christmas traditions. We always had a lot growing up, and I love being able to incorporate my past with the traditions Jeff and I are creating for our family.

When we were growing up, we didn't do Santa Clause. Ever. My parents aren't heartless or anything, but they didn't see the point in basically lying to us children. They expected us to be obedient and good without fear of being added to a naughty list, and Christmas was always about celebrating the birth of Christ without commercialism added in. But I never felt like I missed out on anything. We didn't have very much money (my dad was a preacher, my mom stayed home with four kids...you do the math), so we each were allowed to pick one main present that we wanted for christmas and then we always got a stocking (filled with a piece of fruit, a pez dispenser with candy, and other little odds and ends my mom would pick up throughout the year). My mom would stack presents we'd received from extended family members on top of a hutch all throughout the month, and on Christmas eve my dad would don a santa hat (looking back, i really don't know why since we didn't do santa), and the four kids would line up and carry the presents from the hutch (in one room) to the tree (in a different room). It was always so much fun, and we'd shake the gifts and try and guess what we got. We'd put out cookies and write letters to santa (again, it doesn't make sense), and then all 4 kids would sleep in one room that night. The next morning we'd wake up (my parents would give a set time we couldn't leave the room until), and sing christmas carols to wake up my parents. Then we'd wait in the living room until they got there, and we'd first open our stockings. Then my dad would hand out the gifts under the tree, and we'd open those. We actually didn't receive our main present from my mom and dad on christmas because they couldn't usually afford them, so we'd keep our christmas tree up until those presents had been purchased (ususally sometime in february), and celebrate a second christmas at that time. I loved that. It kept the season going well into the winter blues.

I have such fond memories of those traditions, and I hope that we can create new and memorable traditions for our kids as well. Some are borrowed from my side, some from Jeff's, and some we created all on our own. Like, I wrap up 24 christmas books and put them under the kids' christmas tree, and everynight they can unwrap one book to read before bed. We also do the "one main present" per kid, but thankfully we have been blessed where we can have christmas all on one day. We don't do santa at our house, but we talk about who St. Nicholas was and the spirit of that side of christmas. We also adopt a family, and buy presents for them and then have a birthday party for Jesus (early on in the month) in order to drive home how precious His gift was to us and how we need to be His examples, and give sacrificially as well. On Christmas eve we put the kids to bed, and then Jeff and I put on a Christmas movie (we take turns picking - this year is his turn so it could be interesting), and wrap the kids' presents before going to bed.

I know it's a long blog. It's okay if you've quit reading before now. But i love traditions, and I love talking about traditions.
What are some of your family traditions??

thanksgiving festivities

I love my family - both sides. I would hang out with my family or in-laws all the time, if I could. So, this year when trying to decide how to handle Thanksgiving, we decided to celebrate it with both sides. It was great! We had Thanksgiving dinner with Jeff's side of the family in St. Charles MO - the traditional turkey dinner and then the traditional Chamberlain sides (homemade mac 'n cheese, corn bread, green bean casserole) and then did desserts w/my side of the family that evening in Troy, IL (cobbler, pecan pie, turtle pumpkin pie and cheese curls. we try to include cheese curls at every major event). It was so much fun. Jeff's side is notorious for teasing - if you can breathe, you will be teased. And between the 3 siblings, there are 7 kids from ages 1-6, so it's fun watching them play (and fight). I can't really give justice to it, but being with the Chamberlains is always fun. My side is notorious for speaking in movie quotes, or tv sitcom quotes. I pretty much only quote from the same shows or movies because I'm not really a movie kind of person (i don't like to sit still that long), but it's always entertaining listening to conversations and trying to figure out which sentences are original or quotes. we also love to play games. Well, I use "we" loosely - the sisters and my mom like games. The husbands, and my dad do not. My brother can go either way, depending on his mood. So, we played a fun game - Loaded Questions - which had us laughing. Good times.
I spent the night at my sister's, sans kids, and went shopping w/my dad and brother-in-law on Friday - that was fun. I actually didn't do so badly - I had a list, and stuck to it (for the most part). The highlight of my trip was the $50 Bissel steam mop. You know you've gotten old when a steam mop excites you.
But, all in all, it was a fun weekend. We put up the trees (we have two - one for me and one for the kids), i pulled out my christmas decorations, and we watched the neighbors put up christmas lights. I think they finally talked jeff into doing it too, so hopefully we'll have lights up this season. And now we're just counting down the days until Christmas! Yay!

Birthday parties

I love birthday parties. In my family, growing up, we could have birthday parties up until 3rd grade (i'm not entirely sure why, but we were pretty poor and I think money had a lot to do with it. that, and a houseful of lots of kids made my mom nervous....which, on a sidenote, is weird because there are 4 kids in my family). Anyway, I managed to have a birthday party every year up until my senior year of high school. I would always plan it (the games, the food, the time), and then I'd use some of my birthday money to fund it (Aldi's was good to me), and every year in April I'd start getting excited, planning my birthday party (which wouldn't be until June, but i love to plan).
Well, now that i'm 27, people just don't make as big a deal over my birthday as they used to. It's okay. I'm slowly adjusting. But the fun side is I have kids! And they have birthdays!
Josh - my 4 year old - has a birthday 10 days after Christmas, and my goal is to have the general idea as to what we're doing at least by mid-December so that I can enjoy the last half of the Christmas season without birthday anxiety. Now that I'm back in school, I'd love to have this hammered out by the end of November, so if any of you have any ideas I'd sure take them!
Josh has changed his mind about what kind of party to have every month since his birthday last January, but I think he's settled on bowling. He would like to have a bowling party. I checked the bowling alley rates for having a birthday party there and it is highway robbery. Chuck E Cheese is cheaper than they are. Now, I've been collecting free bowling coupons from The Tony's pizza boxes for about 6 months now (when josh first mentioned bowling), and I'm trying to figure out a way to do a bowling party inexpensively without making it look like i did it inexpensively. (I debated buying those $5 bowling kits from walmart and just setting up my own bowling alley in my church's youth room...i haven't ruled out the idea)....But any ideas? Anyone? I'll take them all!

The No S Diet

For about 2 days I thought about doing my research paper on self-image, and focusing on various influences of self-image, but after requesting about 30 books on diets, self-image, confidence and self-esteem from my local library (oh, to have a picture of the face of the librarian checking me out. you could tell she wasn't sure if i needed an intervention of some sort) I decided to stick with my original topic. And now i have about 30 books on diets, self-image, confidence and self-esteem sitting around my house. The other day i picked one up that was short - "The No-S Diet" and gave the intro a read. Basically, the premise of this diet is to eat No Sweets, No Snacks, and No Second helpings on any days that do not begin with S (so really, you are can only eat sweets, seconds and snacks on saturday and sunday. oh! and special days, like birthdays. but no. you can not make wednesday a special day just to get around the rule. i checked). What tickled me was that after reading this claim in the intro, the writer pretty much said that was all we'd need to read and the only reason he wrote the rest of the book was for doubters who needed to have those rules spelled out ("what about holidays that coincide together? fast food? soda?, etc). Well, I decided to give it a try. I'm on day 5 of this No S plan, and it's hard to say how I'm feeling so far. I was sick all weekend and didn't even feel like eating, but I ate me a butterfinger just because i knew once i started feeling better i wouldn't be able to eat it until next weekend (this is why i usually fail at diets). But yesterday and today are going pretty well...when i eat, i make sure to take enough food to fill me up w/o over indulging knowing i won't be able to snack later. and i'm actually staying full. it's a weird feeling! instead of sitting in class dreaming of what to eat, i'm finding time to dream of other things. =) But, thanksgiving in next week and we'll see how I do then.

follow that smell

There is a dirty diaper hiding somewhere in my car. I know it's there. You can't deny its existence because anytime you open the door, a waft of definite stink hits you right in the face. That being said, I just can't find the diaper. Seriously, I feel like I have torn my car apart trying to locate said diaper. Under seats. Over seats. Behind seats. Today it struck me that maybe my husband planted a diaper somewhere in the car to inspire me to clean it out - on the one hand, it's worked. My car is cleaner. But on the other hand, it smells like a public restroom. So gross.

what is beautiful?

I thought about changing the topic of my research paper - i'm still mulling it over, but odds are I'll save this new topic for another day. I'm really becoming interested in the concept of beauty - what it is, what we teach others that it is, and what affect that has had on us. I've always struggled with wanting to be "beautiful" - tall, thin, "model-esque" and I think secretly I believed that when I got older, those desires would disappear and I would simply become content with who I was because I was older. It's been interesting to discover that not only have those desires not "simply disappeared" but I'm fighting them just as much - if not more - than I ever did in high school and my first round in college. I teach junior and senior high girls at my church, and it's always a topic that seems to hit someone at some time - what really is beautiful? So, I thought about doing some research on the topic, comparing historical values of beauty -from ancient days (like the venus figurine) through various civilizations up to now. I truly believe beauty is something that you are from within- not something you look like on the outside - but it's not something I always remember...even as I'm trying to talk myself out of this topic, it's on my mind. Now that I have a daughter, I don't want her to grow up knowing/having those struggles. I want her to be confident in who she is, and never doubt she is beautifully and wonderfully made. And I know I'll have to be the one to teach her that...which means it's gotta start with me. Hmmm. Lots to ponder before bed.

i love my neighborhood

When my husband and I moved back to the Midwest last year, we spent a lot of time looking at houses before we finally bought one. A lot of it had to do with fear - we had moved to Phoenix at the height of their housing boom, at a time where the average house was $245,000 and if a house was listed on Monday, it was under contract by Wednesday. As a result, we bought a house that was a little (a lot) more expensive than we would have ever imagined, and in a neighorhood that was nice but not ideal. When we moved back, we decided to take a lot of time before making such a big decision. I made a list of all the characteristics I wanted from my new house - a newer home (or a home with newer appliances!), in a good school district, on a cul-de-sac, 3 bedroom/2 bath - the basic things you would look for in a home. But at the top of my list were two things, and one of those was that we would have good neighbors whom we could build a relationship with. Last September, we bought a home in a newer subdivision, on a cul-de-sac, 3 bed/2 bath, within walking distance to a new elementary and middle school...and in a neighborhood where kids can play outside without too much supervision, and where my neighbors are amazing. To the left of us is a family who happens to go to the same church we do - they have 2 kids (like us), a boy and girl (like us) ages 3 and 1 (pretty close to our kids' ages). To the right of us is a family with three kids, ranging in ages from 2 to 7, who are such a delight to get to know. Seriously. I love my neighbors. Last saturday we celebrated my husband's birthday, and had both sets of neighbors over for brunch - it was a blast. It was crazy, hectic, noisy and messy but it was such a great time! Tonight we went "trunk or treating" with a set of neighbors, and had such a good time getting to know them even better.
Every time I'm tempted to wish I had a different house for various reasons (no basement...abundance of crickets...), I'm instantly reminded how blessed I have been to be placed in such a wonderful neighborhood. And it's good.

Not enough hours in the day...

or are there...I forget who mentioned the man who has "created" additional hours in his day by following a rigorous sleep schedule but I'm extremely tempted to read up on his methods and apply them to my daily life. There just aren't enough hours. I am a night owl, and with the kids running mayhem throughout the day it makes more sense for me to stay up late in order to study and complete assignments. But, then i'm still expected to be up in a timely manner the following morning in order to fulfill my dayjob as a mom. And remain on my A-game throughout the day. (I'm not going to lie. some days are not as good as others.) And still have enough energy to stay up late, in order to study. It's a vicious cycle. So...maybe i'll research this method of sleeping every three hours and see if it helps.

RP ideas

I'm just not sure what I want to research... I have various ideas of topics that are interesting to me, but I need to figure out what will be the best to devote my time/energy to actually researching and writing about.
The top 4 topics are:
Standardized Testing (why do we do standardized testing? is it really beneficial? what is the purpose? what do other countries do to measure intelligence? is it possible to accurately measure intelligence? is standardized testing the best way to measure intelligence? if not, what is?)

Auto Insurance State Minimums (why does each state create their own state minimums for bi/pd? the national gov't is involved in everything else - why not the auto insurance industry - why are those laws left up to the state gov'ts? Are the state minimums really enough to protect drivers? How do you determine an appropriate state minimum? why is bi/pd mandatory?)

Homeschooling (why the stigma? pros/cons for students and families? does it affect post-secondary education? is it necessary to have a degree in education to teach? why did teachers start getting college degrees/training? how has school/education evolved? is it better? worse?)

Social Aid, Like WIC, Food Stamps, State Insurance (why were these programs originally created? how have they evolved? what is the criteria to be eligible for these programs? how does the program follow up on the integrity/honesty of the applicant? are social handouts just enabling the current situation? should there be a time period when state aid is no longer available? just because you qualify for state aid, does that mean you should take advantage of it?)

We'll see which topic wins out...

interview

well, i'm back to the drawing board on this interview. I originally wanted to interview the families of Eckerts Orchards and find out the history behind the orchards, but i haven't been able to get a return email or call from anyone...I found a brief history on their website, but it doesn't really help (unless I make stuff up...) So, I'm back to figuring out what I want to do my essay about. I'd love to do an essay about Eleanor Roosevelt, but believe it or not I don't know anyone who knew her personally. (Shocking, I know) I'll have to think through that one.
I could do an essay around my Grandpa, and interview different family members. He was such an enigma - cantankerous, rebellious, quasi-abusive in his early years but then not so much by the time he was a grandpa...It might stir up more dirt than necessary.

everyday observations

i have a very vivid memory from about 5 or 6 years ago. I was going to walmart (probably for no real purpose, just to browse and buy things i had no reason to spend money on) and as I approached the front of the building, I noticed an older gentleman walking along the side of the building - headed towards the soda machines. Now, I have a thing for older gentlemen. Not the creepy ones, but the ones that remind you of your grandpa, or of a time in the past where men wore suit jackets to baseball games, and always carried a handkerchief in their pocket. This particular older man was of the non-creepy group. Anyway, I slowed down to kind of watch him, and looked around to see if there was anyone with him. (I love watching older married couples interact together, and if he was alone I would probably have tried to befriend him because I hate for older people to appear lonely) I didn't see anyone with him, but as I continued watching him he went up to each soda machine and checked the compartment where change is released. Every single machine. It was comical and cute at the same time. It made me wonder what motivated him to do that - was he broke? did he need change for something? was this a habit he had developed years ago that he did unconsciously? i stopped and giggled, and then went on my way because well, let's face it. standing in the middle of the road, giggling at an older man's antics isn't exactly normal. but everytime i go to a walmart, i think of that man and wonder what he's doing now...and if he ever found that extra change.

getting motivated

I have absolutely no motivation to do any school work. I'd been doing pretty well, spacing things here and there, but this weekend I just want to crawl into bed and watch tv. I'm thinking the weather has something to do with it...
My mom watched my daughter today, so I could have an afternoon free (with just my 4 yr old who is pretty self-sufficient) - I spent that time doing anything I could think of to not have to study. I moved furniture. I dusted. (I don't dust.) I rearranged the cupboards. Whatever it took. And now, my kids are in bed, my husband is watching the Mizzou game (thank goodness for tivo) and I have a span of uninterrupted time that I could devote to reading, but instead all I can think of is a reese's peanut butter s'more. (If you haven't ever tried one, they are delicious).
So, I think I'll reach a compromise. I'll take 15 minutes to eat my s'more, and then back to studying. Maybe.

pride comes before fall

Well, the title is a little dramatic for what I'm actually writing, but the funniest thing happened yesterday (and again, "funny" is used very loosely. it was funny to me) and caused me a myriad of emotions.

My son (Josh) is 4 (if you ask him, he is 4 1/2) and absolutely loves the concept of mail. I don't know if it was instilled into him from shows like "Blues Clues" when getting the mail is an event to sing about, but since he was a little guy (2?) he has loved receiving mail. I also think it is partially due to the first 3 years of his life we lived away from family, so he received consistent correspondence from his aunts/uncles and grandparents as a way to remember the family. Anyway, he loves mail. Receiving it, sending it - whatever you can do with mail, he likes it. And, since he has learned to write his name and has learned our address he likes to put his "letters" in envelopes and stick them in the mailbox (later to be retrieved by me or else we would never keep a regular postman). After he had gone through my supply of notecards/envelopes I informed Josh he would need to purchase his own notecards if he wanted to continue "sending" mail. A few weeks ago we were at Wal-Mart (if you are union, don't judge me) and he decided to pick out his very own notecards. I steered him away from the butterfly/flower cards, and convinced him the Halloween-themed cards were more manly. Within an hour of getting home, he had drawn pictures in each of the cards and sealed them in their respective envelopes.

On Sunday he came out of his room with a bucketful of these letters, and told me he would like to go to each of the neighbors and sell them his letters. (He's also very entrepreneurial, if that is a word, but that can be another blog) I convinced him not to sell his letters, but suggested he simply give the neighbors his letters after work on Monday. Thankfully he agreed.

So, there we were yesterday afternoon. We were playing in the front yard, and his friend Hayden came over to play and they both decided it was the perfect time to deliver mail. We live on a cul-de-sac, so I let him deliver the mail on his own while I watched from the driveway. I was so proud, watching him skip up the sidewalk to the various houses, singing "We're going to give the letters, the letters, the letters; We're going to give the letters, la la la la la la." I stood there, thinking "What a sweet boy I have. He's thoughtful, and generous, and is learning at a young age to spread joy to others." Most of the neighbors weren't home so he and Hayden took turns putting the envelopes in the space behind the glass door, and I stood there thinking "What a positive influence he has on his friends, and they are taking turns and cooperating - could I be any more proud?" A few houses up the road, a family arrived home as Josh was approaching their home. I went over to talk with the mom (and kind of give a disclaimer that he wasn't some freak kid, he just really likes mail) and I was standing there as the youngest son opened the letter Josh had given him. My expression of pride/pleasure quickly turned to horror as the little boy, rather than pulling out one of those Halloween-themed cards, pulled out a wallet sized picture of my 1 year old daughter.

I swear my stomach dropped. Was this what Josh had placed in each of the envelopes? Where did he even find those pictures? Why is he giving Gabby's pictures to the neighbors? How weird is that! I imagined the faces of the neighbors as they opened up these envelopes and found a sole picture of a 1 year old inside...a little freaky. I apologized to the family, took back my daughter's dignity, and called Josh over for an explanation. His response? "Mommy, I just wanted everyone to have a picture of my sister." Oh, how to explain to this sweet child that we no longer live in a world where that would be okay. So, I did my best to explain that giving pictures of his sister to families we really didn't know very well wasn't appropriate, and trying very hard not to kill his spirit I asked him if pictures of Gabby were in each of the envelopes he had delivered. The answer was yes. So, we went back around to each of the homes (praise God the families hadn't arrived home yet) and retreived the letters, all the while dealing with a sad-faced little boy who only wanted to share. I was fighting laughter, fighting empathy and fighting anger with myself for not even checking first to see what exactly he was planning on sharing with the neighbors. My afternoon of pride had quickly turned into one of embarrassment and self-criticizing...after some reflection I was able to laugh about it- enjoying the retelling of the story to my husband, and closest neighbor - who now has a picture of my 1 year old hanging on her refrigerator door.

If you could do it over...

Last night my husband and I went to the Cards game w/some very very dear friends. On the way home, while stuck in traffic, my one friend posed the question "If you could go back to one point in your life and change your decision or action, what would you do differently?" Apparently, she and her husband had discussed this on the way to stl (they are currently living in Kentucky), and she was curious as to what our responses would be.

It was really hard to decide. At first I thought I'd want go back to my senior year of high school. If I could do it over, I would take it more seriously. By my senior year, I was so ready to be done with school. I was tired of classes, I was tired of teachers, I was tired of GPAs. I just wanted to be done. I knew I would graduate in the top 10% and took great advantage of that knowledge by skipping classes and ignoring assignments. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted to do with my life, and put off applying to any good colleges. Because of my GPA/ACT score, i did receive a full-ride to a state school but the only reason I even applied there was because I knew I needed to go somewhere...One month before college started I got scared, and withdrew from the university. I applied to a small, local college and took classes that seemed interesting, rather than classes I would be able to transfer for a future degree. Looking back, at first glance, if I could do it over I would have applied to better schools, and followed through on my decision. I would have applied myself to my studies, and persisted through class. But, then, I wouldn't have formed the amazing friendships I found at that small, local college. I wouldn't have met, and married, my husband. I wouldn't have such great relationships with my younger siblings - the college I went to was literally across the street from my house so I was able to stay in very good contact with my sister and brother as they finished high school...These are all things I wouldn't want to trade away.

So. My next thought was, I would go back to when I set the date for my wedding. In hindsight, I know I got married too young. My husband knows I got married too young. I don't doubt for a minute that I married the "right" guy, but I do know that our first years of marriage were extremely hard and a lot of that was due to my immaturity, and just not really being ready to be married. But, then, who's to say i would have actually gone through with the wedding if it had been postponed? And if I hadn't married Jeff, I wouldn't have joined such an amazing family of in-laws, or met some of my dearest friends (including the couple we went out with last night). And I wouldn't have my two (can't think of an adjective descriptive enough) children - I wouldn't give my kids up for anything in the world - they are beautiful, and brilliant and such a joy in my life. And, a lot of who I am today is due to the hard work that Jeff (my hubby) and I had to put into our relationship because divorce just isn't an option...These are all things I wouldn't want to trade away.

I would say these are probably my two most pivotal "decision" moments in my 27 years of life so far, and although I'll sometimes get stuck in a rut and think "what if I had only done this differently" when I really am forced to sit and reflect, I don't think I could ever change the decisions I've made. Even though I make questionable decisions sometimes, the results of those decisions are part of what has molded me into who I am and am continuing to become. And that is something I wouldn't want to trade away.

Getting Started

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started." - Agatha Christie

Okay, so originally I noticed this quote because I really enjoy reading Agatha Christie mysteries and it's always fun to see a quote by someone you "know." But then it kind of stuck with me - partly because it's so simple to remember, but also because it's a simple concept that seems so difficult for me to follow. I have a bad habit of always wanting to just be finished, without having to take the time to actually start. Like, wanting to be done w/a paper or project but putting off actually beginning. Or wanting to be "grown up" without having to face responsibilities that are all part of the process. But when it all comes right down to it, you can never get ahead if you don't start in the first place. It doesn't have to be perfect the first time you try, and it might take you awhile once you begin, but you'll never get anywhere unless you...well, just start. See how simple that is? So, that's my personal challenge this semester. I'll never accomplish anything without beginning (now "Doe a Deer" from Sound of Music is running through my head...), so what better time to start than now?
That being said...I'm off to start reading the chapters for this week. =)

I swore I'd never have a blog...

and yet, here I am. Of course, I should point out the reason behind this blog's creation is because I am required to keep a blog as part of my English course at SWIC, but still. I swore I'd never have a blog.
It's not that I have a personal vendetta against blogposts or bloggers - I truly enjoy reading my friends' bloggings, and I think it's actually because I read their posts that I have been so reluctant to begin my own. I read other people's accounts of their daily lives and it sounds so interesting - even the most mundane things seem exciting and quirky. Not that exciting and quirky things don't happen to me (today I found a quarter. that's a lie. i couldn't even think of an exciting or quirky thing that happened to me today...nope. nothing. i'll be on the lookout for it though!) it's just that the things that do happen to me are a little too personal to share with others (you thought I was going to put something here...i'm sorry but we just met), or so incredibly boring that to make them sound cool would be such a stretch of the imagination, bordering on "lies." So now I have a personal challenge: To find a way to journal about life in a way that sounds quasi-interesting, or to really be on the lookout for exciting things to happen. We'll see what happens....