what is beautiful?

I thought about changing the topic of my research paper - i'm still mulling it over, but odds are I'll save this new topic for another day. I'm really becoming interested in the concept of beauty - what it is, what we teach others that it is, and what affect that has had on us. I've always struggled with wanting to be "beautiful" - tall, thin, "model-esque" and I think secretly I believed that when I got older, those desires would disappear and I would simply become content with who I was because I was older. It's been interesting to discover that not only have those desires not "simply disappeared" but I'm fighting them just as much - if not more - than I ever did in high school and my first round in college. I teach junior and senior high girls at my church, and it's always a topic that seems to hit someone at some time - what really is beautiful? So, I thought about doing some research on the topic, comparing historical values of beauty -from ancient days (like the venus figurine) through various civilizations up to now. I truly believe beauty is something that you are from within- not something you look like on the outside - but it's not something I always remember...even as I'm trying to talk myself out of this topic, it's on my mind. Now that I have a daughter, I don't want her to grow up knowing/having those struggles. I want her to be confident in who she is, and never doubt she is beautifully and wonderfully made. And I know I'll have to be the one to teach her that...which means it's gotta start with me. Hmmm. Lots to ponder before bed.

i love my neighborhood

When my husband and I moved back to the Midwest last year, we spent a lot of time looking at houses before we finally bought one. A lot of it had to do with fear - we had moved to Phoenix at the height of their housing boom, at a time where the average house was $245,000 and if a house was listed on Monday, it was under contract by Wednesday. As a result, we bought a house that was a little (a lot) more expensive than we would have ever imagined, and in a neighorhood that was nice but not ideal. When we moved back, we decided to take a lot of time before making such a big decision. I made a list of all the characteristics I wanted from my new house - a newer home (or a home with newer appliances!), in a good school district, on a cul-de-sac, 3 bedroom/2 bath - the basic things you would look for in a home. But at the top of my list were two things, and one of those was that we would have good neighbors whom we could build a relationship with. Last September, we bought a home in a newer subdivision, on a cul-de-sac, 3 bed/2 bath, within walking distance to a new elementary and middle school...and in a neighborhood where kids can play outside without too much supervision, and where my neighbors are amazing. To the left of us is a family who happens to go to the same church we do - they have 2 kids (like us), a boy and girl (like us) ages 3 and 1 (pretty close to our kids' ages). To the right of us is a family with three kids, ranging in ages from 2 to 7, who are such a delight to get to know. Seriously. I love my neighbors. Last saturday we celebrated my husband's birthday, and had both sets of neighbors over for brunch - it was a blast. It was crazy, hectic, noisy and messy but it was such a great time! Tonight we went "trunk or treating" with a set of neighbors, and had such a good time getting to know them even better.
Every time I'm tempted to wish I had a different house for various reasons (no basement...abundance of crickets...), I'm instantly reminded how blessed I have been to be placed in such a wonderful neighborhood. And it's good.

Not enough hours in the day...

or are there...I forget who mentioned the man who has "created" additional hours in his day by following a rigorous sleep schedule but I'm extremely tempted to read up on his methods and apply them to my daily life. There just aren't enough hours. I am a night owl, and with the kids running mayhem throughout the day it makes more sense for me to stay up late in order to study and complete assignments. But, then i'm still expected to be up in a timely manner the following morning in order to fulfill my dayjob as a mom. And remain on my A-game throughout the day. (I'm not going to lie. some days are not as good as others.) And still have enough energy to stay up late, in order to study. It's a vicious cycle. So...maybe i'll research this method of sleeping every three hours and see if it helps.

RP ideas

I'm just not sure what I want to research... I have various ideas of topics that are interesting to me, but I need to figure out what will be the best to devote my time/energy to actually researching and writing about.
The top 4 topics are:
Standardized Testing (why do we do standardized testing? is it really beneficial? what is the purpose? what do other countries do to measure intelligence? is it possible to accurately measure intelligence? is standardized testing the best way to measure intelligence? if not, what is?)

Auto Insurance State Minimums (why does each state create their own state minimums for bi/pd? the national gov't is involved in everything else - why not the auto insurance industry - why are those laws left up to the state gov'ts? Are the state minimums really enough to protect drivers? How do you determine an appropriate state minimum? why is bi/pd mandatory?)

Homeschooling (why the stigma? pros/cons for students and families? does it affect post-secondary education? is it necessary to have a degree in education to teach? why did teachers start getting college degrees/training? how has school/education evolved? is it better? worse?)

Social Aid, Like WIC, Food Stamps, State Insurance (why were these programs originally created? how have they evolved? what is the criteria to be eligible for these programs? how does the program follow up on the integrity/honesty of the applicant? are social handouts just enabling the current situation? should there be a time period when state aid is no longer available? just because you qualify for state aid, does that mean you should take advantage of it?)

We'll see which topic wins out...

interview

well, i'm back to the drawing board on this interview. I originally wanted to interview the families of Eckerts Orchards and find out the history behind the orchards, but i haven't been able to get a return email or call from anyone...I found a brief history on their website, but it doesn't really help (unless I make stuff up...) So, I'm back to figuring out what I want to do my essay about. I'd love to do an essay about Eleanor Roosevelt, but believe it or not I don't know anyone who knew her personally. (Shocking, I know) I'll have to think through that one.
I could do an essay around my Grandpa, and interview different family members. He was such an enigma - cantankerous, rebellious, quasi-abusive in his early years but then not so much by the time he was a grandpa...It might stir up more dirt than necessary.

everyday observations

i have a very vivid memory from about 5 or 6 years ago. I was going to walmart (probably for no real purpose, just to browse and buy things i had no reason to spend money on) and as I approached the front of the building, I noticed an older gentleman walking along the side of the building - headed towards the soda machines. Now, I have a thing for older gentlemen. Not the creepy ones, but the ones that remind you of your grandpa, or of a time in the past where men wore suit jackets to baseball games, and always carried a handkerchief in their pocket. This particular older man was of the non-creepy group. Anyway, I slowed down to kind of watch him, and looked around to see if there was anyone with him. (I love watching older married couples interact together, and if he was alone I would probably have tried to befriend him because I hate for older people to appear lonely) I didn't see anyone with him, but as I continued watching him he went up to each soda machine and checked the compartment where change is released. Every single machine. It was comical and cute at the same time. It made me wonder what motivated him to do that - was he broke? did he need change for something? was this a habit he had developed years ago that he did unconsciously? i stopped and giggled, and then went on my way because well, let's face it. standing in the middle of the road, giggling at an older man's antics isn't exactly normal. but everytime i go to a walmart, i think of that man and wonder what he's doing now...and if he ever found that extra change.